Thursday, January 31, 2013

Monkeys Attack 7 People In East Indonesian Village

A mob of wild monkeys has gone on a rampage in a village in eastern Indonesia, entering houses and attacking residents. Seven people were injured, including one who is in critical condition.

Ambo Ella, a spokesman for Sidendeng Rappang District in South Sulawesi province, says the surprise attack by about 10 monkeys happened in Toddang Pulu village.

He said Wednesday that a 16-year-old boy was badly bitten in the attack Monday and is being treated at the hospital

He believes the troop came from a nearby forest protected by a local tribe. It's unclear why the monkeys, which are usually afraid of humans and flee when they hear human voices, emerged and attacked.

Local authorities are investigating to find out what prompted the attack, which caused panic among villagers.

Full story here.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Iran Launches Monkey Into Space

iran monkey space
Iran joined the international dash for space in earnest on Monday when it claimed to have a successfully launched a live monkey into space in an Iranian-built space capsule.

Iranian media reported on Monday that the country's space agency had sent the creature 75 miles (120 km) above the Earth in a Kavoshgar rocket capsule named Pishgam (Pioneer). Though the report has yet to be independently verified, officials said the capsule had returned intact and the monkey was still alive after its sub-orbital experience.

"The explorer rocket … returned to the Earth after reaching the desired speed and altitude, and the living creature (a monkey) was retrieved and found alive," the semi-official Fars news agency reported.

Full story here.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Chimp Gets Blanket And Hot Tea In Welsh Sanctuary

It was blankets and hot tea for these chimps at a sanctuary in Wales. Their roots are in the tropical rainforests of Africa.

That means the freezing UK weather is a challenge for them. And one of the apes won't even venture outdoors without her blanket. Jan Garen, zookeeper, told Reuters this about the chimp, "she lived in a house for about 29 years when she was a youngster, so it's just what she's been used to. And she enjoys having a blanket; it doesn't do her any harm so if she wants one to keep warm she can have one."

And while she shivers, her mates seem happy to make the most of the snow.

Full story here.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Chimp With TV Remote Chooses Porn Channels

chimp tv porn
A chimp named Gina became addicted to porn after a television set and a remote control were placed inside her enclosure at a zoo in Spain.

Primatologist Pablo Herreros recently told a Spanish newspaper that he made the discovery years ago while touring different zoos. According to the New York Daily News, the television was placed inside the enclosure to help stimulate the primates both physically and psychologically.

Herreros explained that primates are often given toys, objects, and various stimuli as a kind of “occupational therapy.” In order to keep a chimp named Gina content, zookeepers decided to install a television behind a glass barrier. The chimp was also given a remote control so she should control what she wanted to see.

According to, Gina’s handlers were happy that she didn’t immediately try to smash the television. They were even more delighted when they discovered the chimp has learned to use the remote control within a relatively short amount of time.

However, the real shocker arrived when zookeepers discovered that the chimp had become addicted to watching porn. Instead of nature shows, cartoons, or cheesy action flicks, Gina had decided pornography was her entertainment of choice.

Herreros explained to the newspaper:

“The surprise was when they found that within a few days, Gina was not only using the remote control perfectly well, but that she also used to choose the porn channel for entertainment, as many of us would have done. Although a small study estimated that porn films are only watched for about 12 minutes on average, the truth is that human and non-human primates possess an intense sexual life.”

Full story here.

Thursday, January 03, 2013

Monkey Crashes U.S. Embassy In Sri Lanka

The embassy invasion began on Dec. 20, when an an e-mail went out to employees of the facility in Colombo notifying them that the ground floor doors were locked because a monkey was trapped in the building and instructing them to use alternate exits. “A little bit different than a Kabul ‘lock down!’” observed one worker there whose previous tours of duty were perhaps a bit more dangerous.

We’re unclear exactly what kind of monkey it was, but speculation was that it was a toque macaque, a medium-sized specimen common in Sri Lanka — generally harmless to humans, and, with a swirl of hair not dissimilar to Donald Trump’s,pretty adorable.

There was apparently trouble when removing the visitor, since a plea soon went out for anyone with experience with wild animals (who says our diplomatic corps isn’t a talented bunch?) to help out. The day ended with the monkey business still at hand.

Day Two of the siege ended happily, with the little fella (or perhaps it was a lady monkey, we’re not sure) ultimately vaulting the embassy wall, urged on with bananas and encouraging shouts from burly Marines and a group of off-duty drivers on the scene.

Full story here.