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Slutty ape ipad pictures incoming...
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9. Kanzi The Chimpanzee Can Start A Fire, Cook His Own Food
Well, Kanzi's doing better than about 90% of any of the contestants on Survivor. At least Kanzi is being taught responsible Marshmallow eating practices.
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8. Michael Jackson's Chimp Paints $1,500 Abstracts
I'm sure Joe Jackson is kicking himself for letting Bubbles slip away.
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7. 'Chimera' Monkeys Created In Lab by Combining Several Embryos Into One
Roku and Hex from OHSU News on Vimeo.
This is bound to bring a whole new dimension to the Jerry Springer show in about twenty years.
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6. Baboons Recognize Real Words from Gibberish
Currently on hire for Nick Nolte translation work.
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5. Lab Tech Found Drunk, Partially Nude, With Monkeys On The Loose
"What? What?!? Like I need to wear pants when entering data? Oh, what? Those monkeys? Yeah they are just there for motivational support."
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4. Zoo Gives Aging Gorilla A Bunny Companion
Awwww....
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3. Conan Overcomes 2nd Vasectomy To Become Father For The Third Time
You just can't keep a good chimp down. Conan! What is best in life?
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2. Wife Breastfeeds Monkeys To Help Husband's Animal Training
I wish my wife had this kind of dedication to my trade. Alas, my organic alligator farm residents go to sleep hungry every night.
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1. Monkey Found Alone At Toronto Ikea, Wearing Coat
When Yasmin Nakhuda suited Darwin up in his winter coat and put him in the car for a little trip to Ikea, she had no idea he was about to be the biggest internet sensation since that ridiculously photogenic guy. When Darwin was left alone in the car, he decided to venture out on his own and was immediately plastered all over Twitter and Facebook by stunned shoppers (Also seized by Animal Control since owning a monkey is illegal in Toronto). Here are a few of our favorite memes that have come from this so far:
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Or, how about lifting your spirits and gaining some karma by doing something charitable and donating to some primate sanctuaries in need? Here is an alphabetical list of sanctuaries that are always looking for willing donors, please help them however you can:
- Born Free Primate Sanctuary
- Center for Great Apes
- Chimpanzee Collaboratory
- Chimps Inc.
- Chimpanzee Sanctuary Northwest
- Fauna Foundation
- Mindy's Memory Primate Sanctuary
- Monkey Forest at Trentham
- New England Primate Sanctuary
- Owl and Monkey Haven
- Primarily Primates
- Primate Rescue
- Save The Chimps
- Wildlife Rescue and Rehab
Happy Monkey Day everybody!
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