Yes, it is that time of year again, December 14th, Monkey Day! So, to help you celebrate your Monkey Day in style, we decided to gather up the very best news stories of the past year. Without further ado, I bring you (our favorite) top 10 Monkey and Primate News stories of 2010:
10) Kung Fu Monkey
Based on the source of this story, this is obviously a street performer exploiting his domesticated monkeys. We do not approve of it, but we also cannot help but include it based simply on the awesomeness of picture above.
9) La Toya Jackson and Bubbles
Earlier this year, the world lost a once great performer, and his sister decided to remember him by visiting his old pet chimp, Bubbles. But the real story is not in Latoya's bizzare interaction with Bubbles, but in the revelation that Michael had spent money researching throat surgery for Bubbles to allow him to speak. If only Michael, if only...
8) Report Of Loose Baboon In Missouri Is Hoax
We don't care that this story was a hoax, watch the video above and you will understand why. Frankly, with this woman's incredible knowledge of baboon calls and food traps, we are surprised that Missouri isn't overrun by baboons flocking to her mesmerizing mating call and to snack on discarded Cheetos and popcorn.
7) Tampa's Mystery Monkey
A loose monkey in Tampa was catapulted to fame when he managed to elude his would be captors, even after being hit twice with tranquilizer darts. Random spottings began to pop up, and he quickly gained support from the public, as of today his Facebook page has over 80,000 fans. Sightings have dwindled off, but to our knowledge he has yet to be caught.
6) 'Never Slaughter A Chicken In Front Of A Monkey'
Li Chun learned a hard bit of monkey lore when he adopted a one-legged monkey into his family. Nursed back to health, the monkey began copying everything he did, including cracking eggs and slaughtering chickens. 80 chickens later, lesson learned.
5) Extinct Chimp Virus Revived For Studies
As if this story wasn't already crazy enough, scarily this second story came out the same day. Wasn't Morgan Freeman in this movie?
4) Escaped Ape Attacks Kansas City Police Car
Anybody who is wondering if it might be a good idea to get a chimp as a pet, just watch the video above and think about how much effort it took to smash in the car window.
3) Japanese Team Say Stem Cells Helped Paralyzed Monkey Jump Again
Japanese researchers claim they have used stem cells to restore partial mobility in a small monkey that had been paralyzed from the neck down by a spinal injury. No snarky remarks, this is just incredible news.
2) Taliban Training Monkey Terrorists?
I am certain there is not a single nugget of truth to this story, but the fact that CNN actually covered it, makes it all worth it.
1) Mandrill Cannot Help Showing "The Finger" To Visitors
We here at Monkey News are simple folk, some times it's the little things that bring us the greatest joy. Happy Monkey Day everyone!